Billions of years ago, Interstellar lightning created the Big Bang Between us It wasn’t that long ago, really… but if I name it in time as we understand it they’ll know it’s you (But They’ll know anyway ) Apparently, the Earth does as it shook below your feet, just as I was writing these words Recall, whichever time after time that was Me getting dressed first Me saying goodbye first Me having to return to someplace where anxiety would drive me me away from you Again That time You said, “thank you,” as I was leaving and I found it so curious Should I carry that home lightly, Eyeroll and the whorish insult or should I let the weight, deep gratitude hanging in your lilt wash over me like a security blanket knowing to this we could always return Except: every time you break me. The delicate balance I carry living in shadows and alleyways Of my former self spins. I’m off kilter, a nauseati...
I have a playlist with your initials Music for a muse It goes from melancholic, to maudlin, to nostalgic to laughable Sometimes in one beat, or less Fast as a hummingbird drinking clear Sugary nectar Wings flutter (Many times, it’s a slow oily candle Burning at more than one end Still somehow frenetic, frantic) Like these words I type That inevitably end in sentences, Engine purring: you Over and over again, a bene-addiction Drawing breath in to savor the savior last syllable, throttle released… When I am on you, drug of choice I feel safe, in each gear No matter the speed. And while I am not a prayerful woman, I know how to knee-down (As you knew) On each speckle freckle in gravel, Stardust maps to villages souls travel Until they get it right.
What I need From our future machine Isn’t in your mechanics Pedantic antics Those wheels and cogs don’t respond when vigorously stirred, lines blurted Years of scribbling to you and for you on bar napkins Tossed in bins, black screens with orange font Never knowing what the fuck you want Old school College labs, notebooks: every color of the rainbow Shit you’ll never know I lived for you, But died for me All for the love you didn’t see The truth is… I need you here, near, dear in it with me and in me. No fear. Pine My branches are thin, but can hold a heavy load Your snow, my wind and all the truth we spin Identical waning gibbous moons poison bloom, ripped paper cranes Fire dragon blood, cool blue Neptune In remembered kisses Lips stained: teenage dirtbag red Still I wanted you Wrapped around me in every bed Pine ...
you weren't pissed; you were just ready; i'm moving to DC - shoot me an email! I'd love to be back in touch: ryanmbyrnes@gmail.com
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