Birthday Suit


Let me be transparent

Super fucking clear 

I knew the moment I saw you

Again


That every moment had to be seared into my guts, gentle organ scars, the kind that people tell you are cool, 

But when you know the story 

how they’re carved: 

To love them 

You’d be a fool 

 

Still I remember, 

In delicate moments (when I want you) 

But should know better that 


My knowledge of you is detailed, 

Even in the skipped years

When I filled my imagination with 

Expectations derailed 

of our missed big life 

Structurally sound 


The one we knew 

(Know…)

Could’ve been perfect (for us) 

Like how we fit 

Down to every single bit. 


But time is cruel 

I’m as much butterfly as mule. 

Bear and fly, weightless I try 


To give you up 

Your grinning ghost 

Always doing the very specific most 

At parties or with your dudes 

Every single one of your moods: 

Never moody, hiding your broody 


But this last 

Last time 

I saw a glimpse 

Simple, a lil blue of 

The less than effervescent,

sparkle free you 

It was kind of indecent,

but being decent enough  

I let it be.


Because I can 

let it go

This you and me 

So thanks, my never forever

For finally setting me free. 

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