Every Day
Scarification mornings with tea and oatmeal Counting off each day, every day One slash at a time, an angst burdened teenager in a middle-aged body (I bought a house, you know. It is big and empty.) Inhale vitamins to balance wine against fake smiles, while I dream of a time when Gauloises wouldn't have hurt Paper embers encircling tobacco, small and smaller and smallest until I disappear into the smoke of all I've forgotten There's Me Deciding never to write of you after this Wishing I could do same with these thoughts of calloused hands cupping my breasts Of being lifted into your eternity With each thrust So now I am pathetic, the kind of woman-girl at whom I shake my head Here's Me Closing in-on a year of oh-so-broken, in quietest whispers, that my bones crack and separate as I sleep walk through the hours Took time away from the bottle even but you were too vivid without a black out (I blame the flame for all of it.)